As believers we often find ourselves holding compassionate conversations. These may be divine appointments, where you are the right person to bear witness to a receptive person at just the right moment. Often, believers find themselves involved in conversations that may be delicate or difficult. We may want to help but are hesitant because we do not know how, or do not want to make matters worse. Many of these conversations center on medical issues or personal relationships. Here are my six guides for holding compassionate conversations:

Meet people where they are, not where you think they should be. Compassion starts with respect and dignity.

Listen to their story. Be slow to talk or give advice. Let them unburden in the moment. Listening is the time to keep quiet. Then seek to restate to them what you just heard. This helps you both understand the issue.

Remember, you are not their doctor. Even though medical, psychological or other symptoms may be expressed, or your opinion sought, you are not their doctor.

Set reasonable time and place limits. With deep issues, some people can be overwhelming in their need for conversation. Compassionate conversations are best when held in appropriate places, for agreed upon lengths of time. For example, if you have only 15 minutes for a conversation, agree upon that time frame at the start, or set a better length of time for later. 

Offer an in-the-moment prayer. Ask them how best to pray. Do not always assume that you know what prayer you should offer on their behalf. Ask them, and then pray that request right then.

Leave them with a word of hope and grace. Conclude your conversation with encouraging words of hope and grace. Point them to Jesus.

Galatians 6:2 reminds us to “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Compassionate conversations are not always easy, but they can ease the load, bear a light in the darkness and provide a friend for the journey.

Keep healthy. Pray mightily. Enjoy your life today. Prepare for your divine appointments. And let’s experience the love and power of God together.

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In a discussion on a recent Wednesday night, I referred to a sermon that has lived deeply in my heart: A. J. Gossip’s But When Life Tumbles In, What Then?  Arthur John Gossip (1873-1954) lived in Scotland his entire life. He served churches as pastor, ministered to the Scottish Highlander soldiers as chaplain during World War 1, and later became professor of  Theology and Ethics at Trinity College of Glasgow University.  After one bitter battle during the war, Gossip held the funeral for 100 of his Scottish soldiers. At age 54, while pastor of a church in Aberdeen, his wife suddenly died. The Sunday following her funeral, in his grief, which still included so much pain from his war experiences, he stood in the pulpit to tell of his hope in the darkest times of his life. Based on Jeremiah 12:5, he proclaimed in part:

I do not understand this life of ours. But still less can I comprehend how people in trouble and loss and bereavement can fling away peevishly from the Christian faith. In God’s name, fling to what? Have we not lost enough without losing that too? If Christ is right—if, as he says, there are somehow, hidden away from our eyes as yet, still there, wisdom and planning and kindness and love in these dark dispensations—then we can see them through.…If Christ was right, and immortality and dear hopes of which He speaks do really lie a little way ahead, we can manage to make our way to them. But if it is not so, if it is all over, if there is nothing more, how dark the darkness grows!  You people in the sunshine may believe the faith, but we in the shadow must believe it. We have nothing else.

Further in the sermon after quoting Paul:  True, I can tell him where death’s sting lies. Ah! It is the constant missing of what always used to be here; the bitter grudging every second of the dear body to the senseless earth, the terrible insecurity, for one is never safe—anything, nothing, and the old overwhelming pain comes rushing back….To us it will be long and lonesome: but they won’t even have looked around them before we burst in….I don’t think you need be afraid of life. Our hearts are very frail; and there are places where the road is very steep and very lonely. But we have a wonderful God….

Keep healthy. Pray mightily. Enjoy your life today. Heaven is at hand.  And let’s experience the love and power of God together.

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The church doorbell rang late one afternoon a few yearsago. A couple in their seventies waved when they saw me coming to the door. As always, I took a couple of mental guesses as to who they were and what their need might be. I was wrong,again. The gentleman introduced himself and his sister. He asked permission to show her the stained glass windows. So I offered to take them around so that they could enter the sanctuary down the center aisle. I did not turn on the lights as the stained glass is best viewed in natural light. The glass gleamed in its richness; the architect had designed the shape of the building to receive the full light.

​The man then told us his story of labor and love of the windows on the north and south walls. Most people focus on the Good Shepherd window above and behind the pulpit. He wanted to talk about the other windows, for he was one of the men who had stained the glass into the various colors over thirty years earlier. He had fired the colors into the sheets of glass. He had been a part of the team that had cut the glass, dipped it in a black wash, hand rubbing every small piece with a cloth, being very careful not to leave any fingerprints, then firing all the pieces one final time. It was the largest, most complicated stained glass project of his career. Then came the assembly of the panels, putting lead around every individual piece of glass and iron supports for the longer pieces, always double-checking that he was following the patterns precisely. His sister and I were impressed as he showed us how the texture of the glass, in addition to the colors, transformed the room into a holy place. He said he now lived out of state and wanted to see, one more time, his artistry in its glorious setting. I saw the windows from the view of the artist.

​We talked a little while, then I left them alone to reflect and remember. I have to be careful about my assumptions of people or situations. Sometimes I can be too quick. I am so glad I listened to his story. Each week we have the opportunity to worship in the wonder of the artist’s stained glass.

Keep healthy. Pray mightily. Enjoy your life today. Behold the view of the artist. And let’s experience the love and power of God together.

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Into each life a mouse shall come. One Sunday morning during the holidays, Dorothy reported that she had startled a mouse in our pantry. Sunday morning before church is not a good time for a mouse hunt. I told her the mouse would be fine and that we would take care of it after lunch. We mentioned the mouse at lunch and one of our daughters asked if we would be using a non-lethal mousetrap. She offered us one of her slightly used humane traps. After a couple of days, I noticed the bait was missing but no mouse was trapped inside. We tried again with the same result. The little spring door on the trap was broken. Time for more severe action. Two traps were set. It took a few more days for the mouse to meet a sudden end. We moved on with life, keeping a trap set.

Into each life another mouse shall come. It has been very cold of late. While working at the kitchen counter one evening, I thought I saw a flash of silver. I looked in the pantry, everything looked fine. I set another trap, this time with a raisin. When I checked the next morning, the raisin had been moved out of the trap. I set the trap with some smelly cheese. That worked. I thought it might be time to clean out the pantry. It is amazing what can be stored in a pantry, just in case it might be useful, maybe, one day. We cleaned the floor and the first shelf then half of the second. We saw why the mouse did not need to venture far. One shelf contained an empty mouse-eaten bag of cholate chips, and a partially eaten bag of other stuff. A trip to the store for fancy containers ensued. All was well again.

Into each life still another mouse shall come.  A few more days passed before I saw an empty bag of crackers and debris on the pantry floor. It had fallen from the half-cleaned shelf. Time for another deeper cleaning—all the way up to the top, new shelf paper, restocking the pantry, and more cheese. Stuff dating to 2006 tossed away, and 30 big and little glass jars recycled. Two more traps were set. One more mouse passed over the rainbow bridge, or wherever. Pantry tours are now available at a very reasonable price.

Keep healthy. Pray mightily. Enjoy your life today. Watch for mice. And let’s experience the love and power of God together.

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You know it is going to be an interesting week when the temperatures dip below 20 degrees with light precipitation and daylight brings a few hours of Thunder Sleet with occasional lightning, followed by Sleet Showers. Tuesday was quieter with just Light Sleet accompanied by deep cold. We were all ready for the Big Snow last week. Groceries were bought. Gas tanks were filled. But, alas, the Blanket of Snow (“up to 6-inches in some locations”) turned out to be no snow for the Tulsa area, also known as “the Donut Hole” in the blanket, as one weatherman mixed his metaphors. As of this writing, area schools will have at least three Snow Days this week, and a strong possibility of a fourth. Some businesses are closed, sort of. Hourly wage earners are missing work. Automotive body shops are incredibly busy. Insurance companies are saying, “Send us some pictures.” Some have taken these days to rest or catch up on a few things. Others have taken these days to fret, worry and be anxious about everything. Long anticipated medical appointments or procedures have been canceled and need to be rescheduled, causing further delays. For many, these days of being shut in are just like every other lonely day.  

We had Thunder Sleet one March Sunday in 2014. That winter we had to cancel one service each month for four months in a row because of the bitter weather. If I were the one in control, the weather would always be beautiful on Sunday morning and Wednesday nights. God and I have had this discussion for years now. Mostly I talk. God doesn’t say much about it. All I ever get is, “It rains on the just and the unjust alike.”  You would think that God would make it as easy as possible for people to go to church.  Most likely God does not micromanage the weather at all. It’s probably more about strengthening our character, stretching our faith, and learning to depend on God through whatever comes our way. We have been here before. This coming Sunday, February 5, is predicted to be sunny and 60 degrees (or not.) 

Keep healthy. Pray mightily. Enjoy your life today. Trust in the Lord. And let’s experience the love and power of God together.

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