Several have been asking how I have been doing these days. I have nothing to hide —transparency is always best — but I also don’t want to generate pity. No matter what, we keep looking to Jesus with gratitude, but these past several months for me have been really challenging.

Since March, I have had to be bedbound more than not. In fact, I typically only have a few hours a day when I can be on the wheelchair to work on my computer. It is getting harder and harder for me to be on Facebook or Zoom. Even using WhatsApp on my phone has become challenging.

Worse, physical decline from multiple sclerosis keeps happening. Weakness increases; dexterity decreases. Muscle spasms keep getting worse. As I begin to adapt to a new normal, the bar keeps lowering. It is not uncommon now during times of great weakness to have to be spoon fed. Such needs show me that I deal with some arrogance because I just don’t like it at all. “Dear Lord, I am 51. Not 101.”

The greatest difficulty is not being able to serve others like I want. Certainly not in person and less and less virtually. But I cannot stay here — in this place of self-pity — because there is still much to do. Much for which to be thankful. After focusing on Scripture passages, I have many hours a day to pray. I have several hours a day to listen to audio books from the library.

I have greatly enjoyed hearing autobiographies and biographies from those serving in Kenya like Charles Mulli, China like Charlotte (Lottie) Moon, and India like Sundar Singh. I have heard memoirs from those like Pope Francis, Beth Moore, and even those like the Dalai Lama. I have heard memoirs from Muslims, both from those who have begun following Jesus and from those who never have. We pray that they encounter Him soon!

There are billions across the nations who need to know that they have been lovingly created. Come, Lord Jesus! Come and deliver and save!

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